


Our Leader's A Ghost

by minyoongurt



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Chan is dead, Chaos, Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Happy Ending, Ghost Bang Chan, Happy Ending, Haunting, Hugs, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Mirrors, One Big Happy Family, Paranormal, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Resurrection, Reuniting, Sad with a Happy Ending, Spooky, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, first chapter is wholesome, it's happy I promise, second chapter is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-02-26 22:57:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18726544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minyoongurt/pseuds/minyoongurt
Summary: Coping was the hardest thing to do. After the death of their leader, it’s hard for the eight members of stray kids to move on. Especially when their passed friend likes to haunt them. One night all of that changes when Chan isn’t up to his normal ghost antics.





	1. Young Wings

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because a friend and I were joking about Ghost! Chan haunting SKZ. It's pretty wholesome.

_ “May fifth, twenty twenty-three. The four year anniversary of our leader, Christopher Bang’s, death.” _

 

_ “You’re making it sound really depressing, Woojin-Hyung.” _

 

_ “Well it is depressing, Innie. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. It’s been four years since we lost our leader. His death came as a shock to all. We weren’t expecting to lose such a kind soul so soon, but his legacy will live on in all of our hearts. In the words of our leader, say it with me, Jeonginnie-” _

 

**_“Stray kids everywhere all around the world, you make Stray Kids Stay.”_ **

 

Woojin turned off the camera and smiled down at it. He wrapped an arm around the maknae’s shoulders, pulling the boy against his side. There was a moment of silence between the two. Ever since Chan’s passing they had made video diaries, just the two of them. Whenever they missed him, or had a bad day, or needed to blow off some steam, they would sit and talk, sometimes alone and sometimes together. They sat in silence before there was a series of loud crashes from the living room, followed by Felix screaming “he’s back again!”.

 

Jeongin was on his feet before Woojin, rushing out to the living room.

 

You see, they didn’t really lose Chan on May fifth. The leader still liked to stick around. He really enjoyed knocking the pictures off the wall and resetting all the digital clocks in the dorm to 00:00. The paranormal activity always got more frequent nearing the anniversary of Chan’s death. It scared everyone at first, then they learned it was just the ghost of their passed friend. No one ever saw Chan, but they definitely felt his presence. Especially Jeongin. 

 

The youngest always claimed that he could feel a cold body holding him from behind at night. Despite the familiar warmth of Chan’s body being long gone, Jeongin always said he felt the same. Strong and grounding. He was always there to protect their youngest members from nightmares and anything else that could harm him.

 

Seungmin never got the feeling of being held, which didn’t have him complaining. Although sometimes at night, as he was just beginning to doze off, he would feel his blanket being pulled up closer to his chin, On those nights he fell asleep with a smile.

 

Sometimes when Felix was making his lunch of cheap cups of ramen and forgot to close the cupboard, multiple cups and packs of ramen would fall out onto the floor. At first he just thought he was because they were poorly placed in the cupboard, but then he realized it was just the elder Aussie’s way of getting his attention.

 

Hyunjin never really noticed anything odd happening to him. This had him questioning his friendship with Chan. Did the leader not care about him? Did he not like him? Was their friendship all a lie? It wasn’t until one morning when Hyunjin woke up to his makeup arranged into a haphazard and messy heart on his desk that his worries withered out into nothing.

 

Some nights Minho would stay at the studio rehearsing until he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. He didn’t know when to quit. But alas, their leader would always make an appearance. Whether it was flickering the lights or causing the sound system to malfunction, Chan always made sure Minho went home. 

 

Chan never did anything drastic to Woojin. He never destroyed anything or made a mess. He always did the same thing. At night after tucking the rest of the members in and as he was turning all the lights off in the dorm, the TV would turn on. It always turned on to the same thing. The VLive he did with Chan the January before he died. Woojin would always smile sadly and wish their leader goodnight before turning the TV off.

 

Changbin and Jisung always benefited most from Chan’s visits. They knew they couldn’t just give up 3RACHA, Chan wouldn’t want that. So they continued to write and produce music and fill in the gap their leader had left. When the pair would sit in the studio together, clearly frustrated over the imperfections of the songs, the computer monitor would always lose power. Changbin always crawled under the desk to find the monitor unplugged. After turning it back on they would always find that the imperfections were fixed and the song sounded a little better than before. Maybe it was just their imagination, or maybe it was Chan giving them a little assistance. 

 

“Someone get the EVP recorder!” Jisung yelled, clinging to Felix’s arm as he watched as everything fell off the walls one by one.

 

“I got it!” Minho yelled back, running into the living room with the little recorder in his hand. 

 

The seven boys gathered around Minho. They all remained silent as things stopped falling. All that remained was a picture of all nine of the members out at dinner together the night they found out they would indeed be debuting as nine, no less than that. The picture was untouched. It wasn’t even crooked. 

 

Hyunjin nodded to Minho, who pressed record.

 

“Chan? Is that you?” Woojin whispered.

 

They stood in silence. Minho waited a few moments before he stopped the recording. He looked at the other members.

 

Jeongin was pressed against Woojin’s side with glassy eyes and the eldest’s arm around his shoulders. Jisung wore a hopeful expression from where he was pressed between Changbin and Felix, clinging to one of each of their arms. Seungmin and Hyunjin were holding each other’s hands tightly, their knuckles visibly white. Minho stood in front of them all.

 

He took a deep breath before playing the recording.

 

_ “Chan? Is that you?” _

 

Everyone waited. They prayed and hoped to hear anything. All the members wanted was to hear their leader’s voice again. They tried this every time. Minho was convinced it would work one day. He was convinced that once day Chan would show himself, whether it was visually or audibly. 

 

_ “G’day, Stray Kids.” _


	2. Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what the hell i'm doing but it's sad

Jeongin fell asleep knowing something wasn’t quite right for the fourth night in a row. He woke up in the morning knowing something still wasn’t quite right for the fourth morning in a row. He had been cursed with nightmares and uncomfortable slumber for the past four days. That never happened. It definitely never happened four consecutive days in a row. Not after scary movies, not after startling experiences, not after Chan died.

 

_ Chan. _

 

That’s what was wrong. He hadn’t felt their leader’s presence, not even for a second. He didn’t feel the pressure of a person laying against his back at all. There was no one there to protect him from nightmares and all the other nasty things that hid in the shadows. 

 

Jeongin threw his blankets off and jumped out of bed, not even bothering putting his slippers on. He ran through the hallway to Woojin’s room. He threw open the door, only to find the room vacant. He stared at the perfectly made bed. It looked like it hadn’t been touched all night. The maknae frowned and slowly made his way out of the room. He searched around the dorm, searching for his eldest hyung. He found Woojin sitting in front of the powered off television, one of Chan’s old hoodies clutched in his hands.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“He wasn’t here.” Woojin breathed out. He looked utterly exhausted. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes. He looked like he had been crying all night, which made the maknae’s heart break. “Something’s wrong, Jeongin.” He had been working late with Felix for the last week, helping the boy with his Korean. He hadn’t noticed the absence of their leader.

 

Jeongin nodded and sat down beside the eldest. “I haven’t felt him the past few nights. He hasn’t been keeping the nightmares away like he usually does.”

 

Woojin sighed and nodded. He mumbled a small “arms up”, and when Jeongin complied he slipped Chan’s hoodie over the boy’s body.

 

Jeongin pressed his nose against the collar of Chan’s hoodie. The faint scent of his cologne was still there. Faint, but present. He hugged himself, sighing deeply. Despite having grown a considerable amount, the hoodie was still fairly large on him. Chan always secretly liked large clothing.

 

“Maybe we should ask the others.” Jeongin said softly, fiddling with the hoodie sleeves.

 

As he said that Jisung came stumbling out of the bedroom. Like Woojin, he looked like he hadn’t gotten one lick of sleep last night. His stance wasn’t confident like it usually was, he was all slumped over. He staggered over to the eldest and youngest, and all but fell into Woojin’s lap. He hugged his neck.

 

“Minho-hyung didn’t come home last night.” Jisung breathed out.

 

That would make sense. Jisung didn’t get any sleep because he was up all night worrying about Minho. Chan’s absence also would lead to Minho’s as well. 

 

“Have you tried calling him?” Woojin suggested, cupping Jisung’s round face in his hands and brushing his thumbs against the boy’s soft cheeks. “Maybe he fell asleep.”

 

Jisung nodded, leaning into the hands holding his face. “He didn’t answer. Every time I called it would go to voicemail. I’m starting to worry. Shouldn’t he be back by now? Even if he did fall asleep he should be back!” 

 

Woojin placed a kissed on Jisung’s forehead, shushing him softly. The eldest motioned the maknae over. Jeongin wrapped his arms around Jisung from behind. 

 

“How about we go check on him? The three of us.” Woojin suggested, holding onto the two younger members. “I’m sure he’s okay.”

 

\---

 

Oh boy were they wrong.

 

After cleaning themselves up and getting dressed without waking the other members, the trio made their way to the studio on the hunt for Minho.

 

When they got there, everything seemed normal. They greeted people as they passed them, ignoring the concerned looks they were getting. Probably because Jisung looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown. They walked to their practice room, and that’s when they noticed something was wrong. All the lights were out when they walked in, the only light was coming from Minho’s phone flashlight. 

 

Minho was kneeled down in front of the mirror, whispering softly and shining his phone light against the mirror. The trio frowned at the sight.

 

“Minho?” Woojin flicked on the lights, startling the dancer. 

 

Jisung rushed to his partner’s side, tackling him in a hug. 

 

They didn’t expect Minho to throw Jisung off of him and jump up, rushing to the lightswitch. He turned the lights before collapsing back to the floor and shining his light on the mirror. 

 

Jeongin dashed to assist Jisung, making sure he wasn’t injured in any way. The rapper was okay, just a little shocked. Woojin on the other hand stood towering over Minho, arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face.

 

“What the Hell?! What gives you the right to push your  _ boyfriend _ like that?” When he received no answer, he sighed. “Alright, don’t answer me. But we’re leaving now. Get up.” He said firmly. It was needless to say he was a little on edge since the disappearance of their ghost.

 

“Hyung…”

 

“Jeongin, don’t. Minho, get up  _ now _ .”

 

“Hyung, look at the mirror.”

 

Woojin frowned and looked at Jeongin. He furrowed his brows and slowly turned to the mirror. His eyes widened and his heart stopped. He slowly kneeled down on the ground and pressed his palm against the mirror.

 

“Chris…” He breathed out. 

 

It was like looking through a foggy window. He saw their leader, looking smaller than ever. His brown curls were an absolute mess, sticking up in every direction. His cheeks were slightly sunken in, making Woojin long to fill them with delicious foods. His eyes weren’t the warm brown they used to be. They were a dull, almost grey, blue, swimming with fear. His lips were pale and cracked, slightly bloody from being bitten. His skin was pale, paler than normal. He reached out slowly, pressing his palm against Woojin’s with the glass separating them.

 

The mere lost soul of a boy they used to know.

 

“Minho,” Woojin breathed out, not daring to tear his eyes away from the blue-grey orbs. He had dreamt of seeing those eyes again for so long. “We need to get him out.”

 

“We can’t break the glass. We could lose him for a long time, maybe even for good. We break the mirror and it could send him to who knows where.” Minho said with a sigh. “I was lucky to find him. I turned off the lights and left, but realized I forgot my airpods. I came back in and used my flashlight instead of the fluorescent lights and I saw him in the mirror.”

 

Jeongin gasped softly, realization dawning on him. “That’s why he always flickering the lights when you’re here. He was trying to get your attention. He knew this was going to happen and he was trying to tell you.” He looked at their leader, making eye contact. “He needed our help and we didn’t listen.”

 

Chan pressed his other hand against the mirror, staring at their maknae with pleading eyes. Jeongin let go of Jisung and crawled over to the mirror, sitting in front of it. He pressed his hand against the glass over Chan’s. There was a muffled, almost silent “ _ Innie _ ” from behind the glass. 

 

That’s when Jeongin completely broke. Tears ran down his cheeks at rapid speeds. He pressed his hands and his forehead against the glass, sobbing loudly as the leader mimicked his position. He banged his palms against the mirror. All he wanted was Chan back. That’s all he wanted from the day the Aussie died. He wanted to be held in Chan’s arms. He needed to feel that sense of security again.

 

Jisung wrapped his arms around Jeongin, pulling him close away from the mirror. He cradled the crying maknae, trying to calm him down. He hushed the boy and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

 

“Channie, how can we help?” Woojin asked, gaining the attention of the boy in the mirror.

 

Chan looked at Woojin, eyes wide and frightened. “ _ Candles _ ” He said.  _ “Salt. Rose Petals. Incense. Ashes.” _

 

Woojin looked at Minho, who took his phone out and opened his notes, beginning to type out everything that Chan was listing.

 

_ “Stray Kids.”  _ Chris finished, looking at the boys with wide eyes.

 

Woojin looked at the three other members. Jeongin had stopped crying, but was visibly shaken. Jisung was holding their maknae tightly in his arms. Minho was trembling, his phone shaking in his hands. He looked back at Chris and gave him a small smile.

 

“We’ll help you.”

 

\---

 

After almost two hours of gathering everything they needed, the eight members of Stray Kids returned to the practice room. Black sheets were put over the windows to block out any light. Candles were lit and sat in a row in front of the mirror. The salt and rose petals were sprinkled around the candles. Felix walked around the room with incense in his hand, cleansing the air and protecting them from any unwanted spirits. Changbin held a small black vase in his hands, containing Chan’s ashes.

 

The eight of them sat down in a semi-circle in front of the mirror, grim looks on all their faces. Minho held up a real flashlight, revealing the Aussie in the mirror. There were gasps from the boys that had not yet seen their malnourished and sickly looking leader. Changbin slowly set the vase down, pulling his hands back. 

 

“Christopher.” Woojin began. “What do we do now?” He asked. 

 

Chan looked at the boys, a tiny smile on his lips. His boys. His favorite people in the world. That tiny smile never left his face as his world burst into flames. His world behind the mirror being swallowed up in flames. The watched the horror spread on each of his boys’ faces. It was okay though. He couldn’t feel the pain anymore. He couldn’t feel anything at all. His smile grew, dimples indenting his cheeks. He knew he couldn’t rest now, he wouldn’t be able to rest for a very long time. As long as he had Stray Kids, he would be okay.

 

Hyunjin was first to react. He quickly began to blow out the candles when flames enveloped their leader. He couldn’t fathom the idea of seeing Chan suffer, he needed to help. No one stopped him. No one made a noise. Everyone sat in silence, tears running down some of their faces. The mirror no longer held their leader, instead they stared at their own reflection. Minho’s flashlight flickered a few times before going out. Right when the room was consumed by darkness, the only sound heard was the vase falling over.

 

“Shit…” Changbin mumbled as Minho smacked his flashlight. The rapper reached around for the vase but found nothing. When Minho finally got his flashlight to flicker back to life, the eight members found that the vase was nowhere in sight.

 

“Uh, guys…” Rather than looking for the vase, Seungmin was staring into their reflection. There was a figure laying on the ground behind them, dressed in all black and laying on his side.

 

Eight heads whipped around when the figure made a low groaning loud. When it’s arms finally moved away from it’s face, everyone’s breath caught in their throat. It was their leader, their best friend, their Chan.

 

“Chris!” Felix was first to rush to the Aussie’s aid. 

 

He grabbed Chan’s wrists and pulled him into a sitting position. Chan looked disoriented and dizzy, his head lulling around like a newborn baby. He seemed to be unable to keep his eyes open, no matter how hard he tried. When Felix kneeled down in front of him he slumped against the freckled boy’s chest. When he finally conjured up the strength to hold his eyes open, everyone sighed in relief.

 

Warm brown.

 

Woojin was next to approtch. He kneeled down on Chan’s other side and pressed a hand against his chest. Slow breathing. Calm heart rate. Chan was warm. Not feverish, but healthy. He looked at Jisung and motioned for him to turn on the lights. They all shielded their eyes from the bright light, Felix doing it for both him and Chan.

 

Their leader looked almost healthy. A little thin, but his skin was no longer sickly looking.

 

Jeongin crawled over to the trio. He stared at their leader before pressing his ear to Chan’s chest. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. Their leader was back, and he was  _ alive _ . He gave a watery smile when he felt his favorite pair of arms circle his shoulders. He looked up, meeting the eyes he had wished to see for four years.

 

“Innie.”

 

“Chan-Hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want a part 3 about his recovery?


	3. Maze Of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery is the hardest part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty wholesome with just a lil bit of angst :)
> 
> This is longer than both the previous chapters combined! I'm really happy with how this turned out. Sorry for any mistakes.

“Drink slowly, okay?” Felix said as he guided the bowl of broth up to Chan’s lips, both of their pairs of hands around the bowl. “You need to drink a little before we get on the road and it’s too hard to do so.” He spoke softly in English, hoping that hearing their mother-tongue would soothe the leader.

 

Chan sipped from the bowl, his eyes locked onto Felix. He smiled. He hadn’t been quite the same since he returned. He barely ever spoke, save for Jeongin, Felix, and Woojin’s names. Sometimes he would call out to them as a group, but never more than that. His voice was always so soft and gentle. Stray Kids thought getting their leader back would make everything return to normal, but it made it all worse. The group had run off in one of the companies vans, their destination unknown. No one could find out Chan was alive, let alone they resurrected them. So they left.

 

Minho had picked up black magic in the short period between bringing Chan back and now. He used it to keep them safe and under the radar. He told them to head for the coast, where his family had an old beach house they never went to and basically forgot about. They knew Chan loved the beach and the ocean, so they hoped it would open him up a little bit. They all wanted to hear something that wasn’t three names. They all knew Hyunjin wanted nothing more but to hear his own name, but as of now it didn’t look like it would be happening.

 

“Lix, we have to get going.”

 

Felix looked away from Chan and met Changbin’s eyes. He was sitting with Chan on the curb outside a rest stop. He nodded and took the bowl from Chan’s hands. He poured the warm broth into a thermal bottle to keep it warm. After handing the thermal to Changbin he looked at Chan.

 

“We have to go, Hyung.”

 

Chan stared at Felix for a moment before nodding. He stood up and brushed off his black pants before getting back into the van. There were only eight seats in the van, which was an issue considering there were nine of them. He sat in the far back middle seat with Woojin on one side and Jeongin on the other. The middle row was Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Changbin. Felix sat on Changbin’s lap, disregarding the fact that Bin could no longer feel his legs. Minho was driving with Jisung in passenger. The squirrel-like boy all but begged to sit shotgun with Minho. No one could say no to his puppy eyes.

 

They drove in silence, which used to be out of the ordinary, but was very normal now. The only noise was the tapping of Seungmin’s foot. No one said a word. That was, until the silence was broken by soft singing. It was a song that every member avoided after Chan had passed away, and it was a voice that made each of their hearts skip a beat.

 

 _“_ _Well you done done me and you bet I felt it”_

 

Jisung’s eyes widened in shock. He whipped his head around to stare at their leader in the backseat with wide eyes. Chan had linked his arms with Woojin and Jeongin’s, staring out the window beside the eldest hyung. He was completely unaware of his surroundings. Woojin wore a sad smile on his face, tears watering up in his eyes. That was his boy’s voice. That was his Christopher.

 

_“I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted”_

 

Hyunjin sat with a shocked expression on his face. After many late-night talks with Felix, they both believed that they would never hear Chan’s voice again. It was so...fragile. He sounded as if he was singing a lullaby to an infant. Hyunjin looked over to Felix, who wore the same shocked expression. They shared a relieved smile.

 

_“I fell right through the cracks”_

 

Seungmin’s foot stopped his tapping. He look in the rear-view mirror and met Jeongin’s eyes. The maknae looked somewhat startled by the sudden presence of their leader’s voice, thick accent and all. He didn’t sound like he changed at all. Seungmin mouthed “Wow”, earning a nod from their youngest.

 

_“And now I'm trying to get back”_

 

Changbin gave Felix a squeeze. It warmed his heart to hear his best friend’s voice. It even brought tears to his eyes. He had wanted to hear that voice for so long. He pressed his face against Felix’s warm back, letting his tear soak into the younger Aussie’s shirt.

 

“Channie-Hyungie, you’re making Bin cry!” Minho laughed from the front seat. His heart swelled from listening to the gentle voice in the back seat. He smiled proudly. Chan was singing, which meant that they were making some progress. He looked through the rear-view mirror and met Chan’s eyes. He smiled, receiving a dimpled smile in return.

 

The boys broke out into hearty laughter, even Chan. There was no rhyme or reason to their laughter, but it felt so damn good to be happy.

 

\---

 

“And...we’re here!” Minho announced as they pulled into the sandy driveway of an old looking beach house right on the water. Some of the shutters were hanging on by a thread, the paint was peeling off the siding, the windows were cloudy and covered in dust, some of the wood was even rotting, but the place was huge. It was their new home.

 

They all piled out of the car, Changbin and Felix took it upon themselves to begin unpacking the car while the others explored. Minho began to walk the perimeter, doing what they could assume was some kind of protection spell. Him and his fucking black magic.

 

Woojin helped Chan out of the car. His heart melted when Chan’s face split into a huge smile when he saw the ocean and all the smooth white sand. Jeongin got out after the two eldest boys. He held their leader’s hand tightly with both of his own.

 

“Woojin-hyung, can we go see that water?” Jeongin asked with puppy eyes. Despite being twenty-two, Jeongin still looked so young and innocent. He was still trapped in his childhood, even if he didn't want to admit it. He still looked up to his Hyungs, he still enjoyed cuddling, he still did aegyo to get what he wanted. He was still their baby.

 

Woojin sighed. He didn’t really want to deal with sand everywhere. He didn’t want the house to get any dirtier. But...he couldn’t say no to the innocent expression Jeongin, and now Chan, were giving him. “Alright, let’s go. Just don’t get your clothes wet!”

 

Woojin watched Chan and Jeongin run to the water hand in hand. He followed them with a fond smile and his hands in his pockets. He watched them stop in front of the water and stare at it. Jeongin had three or four inches on Chan at this point, which wasn’t all that surprising considering their leader was tiny. The maknae was now threatening Hyunjin’s title as “Tallest Member”. Woojin remembered when Jeongin had his growth spurt. They had put him back to back with Seungmin and realized they were finally the same height, Jeongin maybe even a little taller, and Jisung broke into tears. They baby grew up. Chan had always been short, not as short as Changbin, but he was short. Seeing him look so small next to their baby made Woojin’s heart ache.

 

Chan let go of Jeongin’s hand and crouched down in the sand. He felt the wet sand between his fingers for a moment before picking up a small seashell. Never in a million years did he think he would feel sand again. He leaned forward and let the tide rinse the shell off. It was a small scallop shell, decorated in beautiful red, orange, and brown hues. He stood up slowly and turned around to show Jeongin and Woojin the shell. He smiled.

 

“It’s beautiful, Channie.” Woojin said sweetly, tucking a brown curl behind Chris’ ear. He caressed the Aussie’s cheek. Since he was brought back, Chan had been sensitive to touch. Back hugs scared him, touch to his waist was a big no, his legs were out of bounds, and sometimes even his neck. He loved when the members would hold his hands, or when Woojin would caress his cheeks. He loved when they touched his hair or wrapped their arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. He absolutely adored the feeling of Minho’s lips pressed against the crown of his head, or Hyunjin’s on his nose, or Seungmin’s on his palms, or Changbin’s on his fingertips, or Felix’s on his bare shoulders, or Jisung’s on his forehead, or Jeongin’s on his cheeks, or Woojin’s on his own lips. Platonic or Romantic, he loved them all. Jeongin was his favorite person to get kisses from, but he never let anyone know that.

 

Chan showed the seashell to Jeongin before closing his hand around it. “Minnie.” He said softly, barely audible. Completely oblivious to Jeongin and Woojin’s shocked expressions, he began to walk to the house. He trudged through the sand, the eldest and youngest hot on his heels.

 

“Chris, who?” Woojin tried, jogging to catch up with the boy. “Minnie” could mean two people: Minho or Seungmin. Either way, it was a name they hadn’t heard Chan say yet.

 

“Minnie.” Chan repeated. He climbed the steps up to the house, the shell held protectively in his hands. He stepped through the doorway, staring at the rock propping it open for a moment.

 

The house smelled like lavender, which was because of the multiple purple candles all over the house. Courtesy of Minho. There was still power, indicated by the lights in the kitchen. The whole house seemed to be covered by dust, but with eighteen helping hands, they could clean it up in no time.

 

Chan looked around, trying to find his desired member. Jeongin and Woojin were still following him, trying to figure out who the boy was looking for. He peeked into the kitchen, smiling brightly when he saw Seungmin wiping down the countertops. He walked up behind the second-youngest, carefully tapping his shoulder. Seungmin turned around with his eyebrows furrowed. He went to open his mouth and say something about how Chan was in his personal bubble when the leader took his hand and pressed the shell against his palm. Chan closed Seungmin’s fingers around the shell with a smile.

 

“Minnie.” Chan said, barely above a whisper. It was like hearing your baby say their first words, but so much more relieving.

 

Seungmin stared at the former rapper for a moment, then he looked down at the shell in his hands. He looked back up and smiled at Chan. He wrapped his arms around the older’s shoulders and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in the soft curls upon Chan’s head.

 

“Say it again.” Seungmin whispered.

 

“Minnie.” Chan said with a small laugh. He leaned his head against Seungmin’s.

 

“Again.”

 

“Minnie~”

 

“Again.” The boy laughed, swaying from side to side with the leader in his arms.

 

“Minnie!”

 

“Again!”

 

“Seungmin! Stop making him say your name!” Woojin said firmly from the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “Yeah, he said it, we’re making progress, but we have other things we need to be doing right now. Come on, Chris.” He said as he advanced forward and wrapped his hand around Chan’s wrist, tugging him away from Seungmin.

 

No one said a word. This was so unlike Woojin. Was it jealousy? Probably. Did that make the eldest’s behavior right? Not at all.

 

Chan stared at Woojin with wide eyes as he was pulled out of the kitchen. “Hyung.” He said quietly, trying to pull his wrist from Woojin’s hold. “Hyung-” He said louder. He didn’t know where he was being taken. The rational part of his brain knew Woojin was probably taking him to his new room to clean up or have a look around, but the irrational part was telling him that Woojin was taking him somewhere to hurt him for being so close to Seungmin. “Hyung!” He was beginning to panic.

 

“Hush, you’re fine.” Woojin said as he pushed open the door to a large room with windows showing a clear view of the ocean. It was covered in dust, but it could easily be cleaned up. He let go of Chan and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips. “You like it?”

 

Chan, however, was still freaking out. He didn’t like when Woojin yelled. He didn’t like when Woojin took him places without Jeongin. He didn’t like when Woojin didn’t listen to him. He didn’t like feeling unsafe in the hold of someone who promised to keep him safe. What did Chan do? He ran. He ran as fast as he could out of the room.

 

“Lixie!” He screamed. He couldn’t breathe properly anymore. Everything hurt. “Lixie!” He called desperately. He needed Felix. He trusted Felix. They were a team, a power duo.

 

Felix came rushing out of a bedroom when he heard his name being screamed down the hallway. He  had just enough time to brace himself before Chan rammed into him. He wrapped his arms around the older boy and slowly lowered them to the floor. He held Chan’s head against his chest, brushing his hair with his fingers.

 

“What’s wrong?” He whispered, taking a mental note of the hands twisting into his shirt. Chan hadn’t had a meltdown all week. He had been doing so well. “Channie, what happened?” He knew he wouldn’t get a proper answer, he never got a proper answer, but that was okay.

 

“Hyung.” Chan mumbled, tightening his hold on Felix’s shirt.

 

“What about Hyung? What happened?” Felix asked, resting his cheek on Chan’s head. He didn’t even get an answer out of Chan before Woojin came bounding down the hall.

 

“Chan, what the hell?” The oldest boy sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn’t miss the fact that Chan flinched at the sound of his voice. “Felix, what’s going on?”

 

“You tell me.” Felix said coldly. “He came running out here yelling my name. I asked him what was wrong and he said it was you.” It was probably a misunderstanding. Chan freaked out a lot, but up to this point it had never been Woojin he blamed.

 

Woojin immediately softened up. He fucked up. He _really_ fucked up. He scared their leader to the point where he was half on Felix’s lap and trembling. He sighed deeply and kneeled down in front of the two Australians. “I was...I was jealous.” He said shamefully. “He finally added Seungmin’s name to his list of few words and...and they were so happy. They were hugging and smiling and god...i really screwed up.” Woojin buried his face in his hands. “Seungmin kept making him say his name and he looked so proud of Channie. But...i don’t know why but it made me so jealous that I just… I pulled him out of the room way harsher than I should have.” He looked up from his hands and met Chan’s eyes from where he was staring at him. He reached out slowly, and when the boy didn’t flinch he placed a hand on his back. “I should have listened to you and I shouldn’t have let myself get so affected by you and Seungmin. I’m sorry, Love. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

 

Felix sighed. Woojin definitely screwed up, but he gave a good apology and Chan seemed to let the grudge go. He let go of the older Aussie and allowed the two eldest boys to hug. He smiled softly. He gave Chan’s shoulder a small pat before he left to continue to clean.

 

\---

 

With a lot of help from the nine members and a bit of Minho’s magic, they had the house cleaned up and fixed up in just over two months. The house wasn’t quite perfect, it still needed personal touches from every member, but at least it was dust free and repaired. Almost each member had their own room. Aside from Minho and Jisung, who shared because according to “boyfriend law” they were required to share. Or it was just Jisung’s excuse to be with Minho all the time. Jeongin technically had his own room, but every night he would crawl into bed with Chan and snuggle with him. The brunette would hold him from behind, making sure the maknae was safely tucked under his chin.

 

Everything was almost normal. Chan began to speak more. It started out as all the members names, then short sentences, then he was talking almost as much as he used to. He wasn’t as sensitive as he was. He was stronger. He laughed more, smiled more, sang more. He wasn’t the same as he used to be, but he was getting better. So when he emerged from his bedroom one morning with a blank expression and wordlessly walked out of the house and down to the water, everyone was on high alert.

 

Led by Minho, the eight boys slowly followed their leader down to the water. They watched as he sat down in the sand, legs curled up and his chin on his knees. The all sat down on their side of him. Jeongin draped a blanket he had grabbed over Chan’s bare torso before he sat down.

 

“What’s wrong, Hyung?” Hyunjin finally asked, looking at Chan in worry. “What’s going on in your head?”

 

Chan pulled the blanket tighter around him, staring into the water. He sighed softly. “I saw things that no one should ever have to see.” He said quietly. He never spoke about what happened when he died. No one ever brought it up. Each member knew it bothered him, but they never said anything about it. “I saw terrible things. I saw them every waking moment. I saw things that no mind should ever conjure up.” He wrapped his arms around himself. He swallowed thickly before continuing. “I stuck around as long as I could. I couldn’t leave you guys. There were other souls, they told me to let go. They told me I couldn’t let you guys continue to be attached to me. I didn’t listen. I should have, but I didn’t. They told me about this greater power that would punish me if I didn’t pass on to the afterlife. That’s...that’s when I was banished to the mirror.”

 

He paused for a moment, staring out into the water. “I’m so glad Minho found me…” He said softly. “I’m so glad you guys helped me, I’m...I’m so thankful.” His voice broke. “You guys are my Earth, my Moon, and all my stars. You guys are the sun I revolve around. You’re the flowers in my meadow. You’re the beautiful melodies I hear every day. I’m not me without you.”

 

Suddenly, there were eight pairs of arms around him. He never felt so at home until he was held in the arms of his favorite people in the world. He pressed his face against the nearest chest, which happened to be Hyunjin’s.

 

“We’re so glad to have you back. We were never complete when we were eight. It’s nine or none.” Changbin whispered, dropping his cold exterior. In reality he was such a softy. “3racha wasn’t the same without you, Hyung.” He placed a tiny kiss on Chan’s temple.

 

“I’m glad to be back, my Stray Kids.”

 

They enjoyed each other’s presence for a few more minutes. It wasn’t until Jisung grabbed Felix and began to drag him to the water that the silence was broken.

 

Felix yelled with laughter, kicking his legs and trying to wiggle free of Jisung’s hold. It wasn’t long before he was thrown into the chilly ocean. Minho was next to jump up, tackling his boyfriend into the surf. Changbin rushed in to save Felix, who had inhaled too much saltwater. They laughed it off though, unphased by Lix’s gagging. Woojin took Hyunjin and Seungmin hand in hand and ran to the water,  pulling the two boys with him. All that was left was Chan and Jeongin, sitting in the sand with their fingers intertwined. Chan gave the maknae’s hand a squeeze before he stood up slowly. “Come on, baby.” He smiled, helping Jeongin stand.

 

They walked together into the ocean, big goofy smiles on their faces. They passed the other members, continuing to walk until the water was up to just above Jeongin’s knees and Chan’s mid-thigh. The leader turned and wrapped his arms around the youngest’s waist, hugging him against his chest. Jeongin in return looped his arms around the older’s shoulders. They stood together, wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

“Innie,” He breathed out, resting their foreheads together with a warm smile.

 

“Chan-Hyung,”

 

“I love you, I hope you always know that.”

 

Jeongin smiled widely and nodded, bumping their noses together with a little giggle. “I love you too.”

 

“Forever?” Chan held up his pinky with a childish smile.

 

“Forever.” Jeongin hooked their pinkies together.

 

That’s when the other members figured out that it had been Jeongin all along. Chan had been fighting all these years just to see the maknae again. It all made sense now. Holding the boy in his sleep, even after he passed away. Jeongin’s name being the first he ever said when he was brought back. Clinging to him whenever he could. Letting the youngest sleep with him despite being in the midst of recovering. It all made sense now. They looked so happy, which made the other members happy.

 

Everyone was happy again.


End file.
